I’m starting to see it now. Which must mean I’m slowly getting out of it. The transition. You have heard me talking about, or around it, since last October, returning from NYC, which apparently was my awareness session. Probably Clearly not fully understanding the change, but understanding it was coming. I’m not out of it…
Category: Parenting
Eudaimonia
It was Friday night when it happened. Samuel had taken on the cooking, and I sat by the kitchen island watching him. A text message informed him that the week-long bidding process for the flat had finally come to an end – the flat was his. We were thrilled for him, perhaps even a bit…
California Dreaming
When I was 16 and going off for my high-school exchange year, I really wanted to go to California. To Los Angeles. I was totally smitten with Hollywood and I pictured myself as a future lawyer (clearly, too much L.A. Law had been consumed) living in Beverly Hills, with my very own pool boy. I…
Pure joy and the opposite
For once, Fabian’s game stated before bedtime! I praise the people behind the technology of internet, wi-fi and Ai, which made it possible for us to watch Fabbe Fab score, not one but two (!), goals. I love the pure joy a team shows after scoring. People united of their love for the sport instead…
The time has come
Yesterday it was time. And never has Kahlil Gibran’s On Children, been more suitable. I don’t think I ever have hugged him as hard as I did at the airport yesterday. I don’t even remember telling him that I love him. On the other hand I have done so 7000 times before. But I told…
Can someone please explain
Why is it so hard to let go? To just let them sort out things by them selves, whatever it might lead to. Apparently I’m normal, at least to chatGPT. Letting go is extremely hard. But I gotta! I now really need just to sit back and relax. Not think. Not feel. Not see the…
And just like that
it’s over. Or really, for him, it’s a start of something new, something different, exiting and sometimes troublesome. But, its not the end. It’s the beginning. To watch your children graduate is special. Yesterday it was our youngest’s turn. Graduation is wired, as you remember your own. Regarding the weather- the gods were on our…
Prom
Time again. Last time was three years ago. Same venue different kid, different lady. Not much to talk about. I was worried about the weather. It turned out to be a great evening.
A Mother’s Day
Today it’s been mother’s day in Sweden. I’ m not for making things commercial, but w’m all for celebrations, especially when it’s me being celebrated. The day started with a text from my youngest. Telling me that words couldn’t explain how much he loves me and appreciates me. After thanking him, I continued to say…
A+
Drove Fabian to a pick-up point for today’s game. While sitting next to him in the car, like hundreds of times before, listening to his favourite music of the minute, singing and seat-dancing, it just hit me. What a great mother I’ve been! Awesome! And how fun I have had (when I asked, he also…
Stop it, just stop it now
No I’m not talking about the scolding happening at the other side of the pond. I’m talking about life. Tuesday our little one (who turned 18 little over a month ago and thereby is an adult in the eyes of society) got his driver’s license. In Sweden you don’t get to have a driver’s license…
Singing heart
When good things comes to those I love and subjectivity think deserves it, I feel my heart sing and butterflies tumbling around in my tummy. I grasp a moment to be thankful.
Physical & mental movement
We hear it almost daily, that our kids (and many adults) don’t get enough exercise on a daily basis leading to all sort of negative things. Many times before, I have proudly told you (yes, bragged), what an outstanding person I am, who not only exercise regularly but I do it so very early in…
Down under
As a kid, Sam loved Steve Irwin and Australia Zoo (he loved/s animals all together to be honest). So for a long, long time there has been this dream of going there. To Australia. For his graduation two years back he asked his celebrators for travel checks and now in April they were used. And…
A mum’s love – part 463
Being a parent is the toughest job/assignment ever. Now with adult/semi-adult children it is not the sleepless nights I’m thinking about (that’s perimenopause) and it’s not the agonizing conversations explaining the most fundamental logic things to the “not the sharpest tool in the shed” teenager. No, for me the absolute toughest part of being a…
Life and the end of it
Tuesday night my father passed away. That’s it. He was rushed in by ambulance one week prior, with a heart racing and a hard time breathing. The diagnosis: congestive heart failure and fluids in his lunges. Me and F visited him straight way and other than being tired he was him self. Made jokes with…
To be needed
Without knowing anything (or very little) about psychology I believe “to be needed” is very fundamental for us humans. That’s why a context for us humans is so important. To be in a context, any context, is more important than the right (if that is what’s offered). To get a text from your offspring wondering…
Wanting more
For the Mr’s 50th birthday we were off to Edinburgh for a long weekend (Thursday-Monday). The four of us. A Scottish friend of mine advised us to stay in the city as we were only being there for 3,5 days. She was (naturally) right. So we have to come back for more of both the…
The nicest thing I ever heard
Yesterday at the municipality’s business festival (which I believe has the best location in Sweden, Norrvikens trädgårdar), I ran in to an old acquaintance and former board colleague. We talked about the years that passed and how the kids are getting older, but that I don’t think Sam is ready to move out. Then she…
Fury
From time to time we hear that young people are lazy and don’t respect the “elderly”. Well, let me tell you something – you “elderly people”. Be a freaking good role model! If you are not, do not even start to think about complaining about the kids. I notice that when kids search for summer…
Being a mum (parent)
Facebook reminded me about a memory. Today 11 years ago Fabian and I had one of our recurrent FFFs – Friday Fika with Fabian. Maybe it was these weekly visitis to the different cafés in the area that lay the foundation for today’s relationship. Still, much of my time is spent on being the housekeeper…
We did something right
What your children are, is never only one thing and what they become is determined by so many different things. In our society today, we do not need more things to compare, and children should never be up for comparison. They just are. When your (on paper) grown-up son who still lives at home sends…
New season is on
Two weeks back the training matches started for F. I have promised both him and myself to take more pictures this year. It’s fun, because the boys apparently likes it and I often get the question if the camera will join.
To be needed
The biggest sorrow for us as a parents, is when we have succeeded in creating independent people of our children. When they were two and you couldn’t move a step before they cried to be with you/on you, maybe happiness wasn’t always the prominent feeling. But now when they are nineteen, I love the fact…
How a mother knows
Two times in half a week, I’ve been able to tell there was something going on, just by looking at my boys (to other peoples defense, my children are the worst liars). But it’s nice to know that we are that connected and that they trust me to be honest once I ask.
Only five to go
Today is Fabian’s last day of the term/semester. Only five more to go then he too, is out of school. Can’t be reminded often enough how fast life goes. Yesterday was our annual Christmas cooking eve. For years we have forced the boys to be present in the traditional meatball making, now I think they…
No wonder people get stressed
I went to the my client’s office a while back. It doesn’t happen often. Thank God Covid19 taught us to work from a distance. One of the reasons I don’t visit the office is that the team I work with the most doesn’t sit there. Thereto it’s 1,5 hrs away (train or car) from my…
I’m not alone
Had lunch with a friend of mine. We talked about life and what’s happening and came to the conclusion we share an issue. We are both mother’s of two sons in similar age, not that I think that our offsprings’ gender has too much to about our common dilemma, which is – our ability to…
Season’s over
Today Fabian and his team played their last game for this season. A win. It’s been a tough and educational season as they played the top league. Now training continues as it does until Christmas comes. You gotta love football.
“Your mind had understood, but your heart hasn’t”
It was a colleague who said those words to me last week. I expressed my feelings of seeing my last boy being in his high for his independence. With Sam it was easier, maybe because of the fact that I still had another one coming. It was so I almost didn’t notice it. But now….
Him, myself and friends
I don’t want you readers to think that this has become a dog blog. But let’s face it. Both boys are nowadays kissing other girls than their mother (yes, I do spy on them and I’m not ashamed) and my role in their life is changing. I’m no-longer the centre of their universe and that…
Life reminding itself
You need them. Once in a while you need that inexorably punch in your stomach. A punch that shakes you to your core. A blow that makes an average Friday night important and reminds you that all your days are the most important you have. Because they are your life. I was aimlessly scrolling my…
The Friendship Inn
Last week it was Gothia Cup, the largest football youth cup. Fabbe’s team was there. His first time. As the mother I am, and can be. I took my work computer and camera and logged in at The Friendship Inn. Once again my childhood friend opened her doors for me and lend me a bed….
Paris report – Day #2
Today we went in the opposite direction – towards Champs-Élysées. The mission was the same. Find a good deal. If the findings were, I’m not the one to tell. But I understood that the PSG jersey was. Even-though it is last season’s model (and most possibly therefore it was a bargain). I feel unbelievable blessed…
Paris report – Day #1
I must say Fabian is somewhat modest when his uses the word “good” in his review of the day. At one time he was saying that his mind was spinning of the huge supply especially as it’s combined with a sale to up to 50%! We stated our day at Galeries Lafayette Haussmann. From there…
Graduation
So, it’s done. Graduation. We got to have a wonderful day for our Sam. Thanks to all our friends and family. Now high schools over and now he only needs to study if he wants to. Monday – work starts – an assistant nurse ready to care for you. His mum’s going to rest her…
Check ✅
An immense milestone was reach yesterday for our first born. Driving license. Oh they joy. It has been a somewhat struggle, but he kept the spirit, with strong support from his partens (primarily his mother I’d say). For me as a parent it’s paradox feeling. Happy for his success but also worried for the fact…
Fun times
My biggest inability as a mother has been playing with my children. Lego building there has been some of and and cuddles and watching films. But imaginary games, not so much. Another thing that has been around has been board games and playing cards. The latter one is one of the most common things we…
Fantastic parents
Sam wasn’t selected to make the military service. Due to lactose intolerance… We were all kind of surprised about this, especially that it wasn’t sorted before the physical visit. We were thinking that he might get removed by his hearing, but he never came that far. But no sad faces on any of us. And…
20 minutes at the mall
If that’s (header) what I get I sure take them. I’m not like my old teenage me, who L.O.V.E.D to shop. Loved it! Now I think shopping is both boring a bad for the the environment. But as you know, I love to be around my children. So after yesterday’s game, Fabian and I went…
Them – again
I don’t know if it’s because I’m a nostalgic sucker, because I’m getting old, because my family is my universe, because I am me or a combination of all above. But them kids. Gee, what is happening and I can I cope? This is nothing you think about getting pregnant or after delivering your baby….
A good week
Yes, the week has been extremely good, I guess it started already last Friday. Sam had his theoretical exam for his driver’s license. You must pass the theoretical one before the practical exam can done and the license is officially yours. Last time, for his moped license, he had some issues. Absolutely not for being…
Sam our man ❤️
He had us waiting. Not for long, but we first had some else cooking for May 2003, but “thankfully” that unborn was lost. But then he came. He was planned for 2 January 2004, but thanks to being a breech baby, we got a planned c-section and then – to meet my wish of not…
They made it
Fabian’s football team had qualifying games for a national league (which of course is not one, but several). Anyhow, there were three teams qualifying and… Do you know what?! The boys did it. So next season they will meet fierce competition, making them better players. Fabian chose to get ill after the first game and…
Finally
The Swedish authorities have finally lifted the restriction for kids to not play matches! It’s been a long, exhausting and boring start of the season. Finally Fabbe’s football games can start again! First game on Sunday – hurray!
A gentle reminder
I am a person with a stable self worth and confidence. This is good. When it turns to hubris, not so much, this post is before I get hubris. As mentioned I have started to go through my saved images. As I shoot in .raw and the files are huge and not possible to share…
Sit down in the boat
Sometimes the only thing one needs to do, is nothing and things will just solve themselves. Yesterday I had my first day back in (home) office. Wednesday I spent in bed. With a sore throat and generally feeling blah. While doing so, Christmas danced out as we spoke about the other day. Apparently my tinsel…
2018’s learnings for 2019
As always when the year comes to an end, I start to summarize the learnings I have done. What have 2018 taught me and what should I do with them for 2019? Grey2018 verified that life is not back or white. Something I’ve known my entire grown-up life. But, what 2018 have taught me, is…
Lost it
After asking sons to help out and they needed a millionth reminder the Mr and I lost it. Completely. And then the house and the dog got clean.
Louise Dock 