What do you do?

As I told you about a while back, the Mr has gotten himself a day job. Working shift is nothing but a memory. This means however, that we have a lot more time together. I’m “always” bragging about our relationship, which celebrates 30 years next summer. In hindsight, I’d say that one of the contributing…

How I wish…

… I was a manson (gender neutral word for a person that could be any person but most likely is a man). Then I could walk around life with no idea of anything not directly connected to my own (as in me) life. Things around the kids (birthdays, friends, shoe size, schedules etc etc) or…

“Your mind had understood, but your heart hasn’t”

It was a colleague who said those words to me last week. I expressed my feelings of seeing my last boy being in his high for his independence. With Sam it was easier, maybe because of the fact that I still had another one coming. It was so I almost didn’t notice it. But now….

Him, myself and friends

I don’t want you readers to think that this has become a dog blog. But let’s face it. Both boys are nowadays kissing other girls than their mother (yes, I do spy on them and I’m not ashamed) and my role in their life is changing. I’m no-longer the centre of their universe and that…

New beginnings

This morning was epic. For our family. Or for my husband. After 22.5 years as an emergency response operator (20.5 at his current company) the Mr worked his last shift. A nightshift. During the kids whole life, they have been told to “keep it down” because dad’s sleeping. Had a mother who didn’t do much…

The Friendship Inn

Last week it was Gothia Cup, the largest football youth cup. Fabbe’s team was there. His first time. As the mother I am, and can be. I took my work computer and camera and logged in at The Friendship Inn. Once again my childhood friend opened her doors for me and lend me a bed….

Time for someone else

The Mr and I caught up time with a “date night”. Football was on the agenda. The Mr is, as you are well aware of, assistant coach for Halmstad bollklubbs (HBK) boys aged 16 and have season tickets. We took the train (so strange, but good for us to skip the car) and then I…

Fun times

My biggest inability as a mother has been playing with my children. Lego building there has been some of and and cuddles and watching films. But imaginary games, not so much. Another thing that has been around has been board games and playing cards. The latter one is one of the most common things we…

Sam our man ❤️

He had us waiting. Not for long, but we first had some else cooking for May 2003, but “thankfully” that unborn was lost. But then he came. He was planned for 2 January 2004, but thanks to being a breech baby, we got a planned c-section and then – to meet my wish of not…

What would happen?

If we just one day said no. I will not do that? Or just stoped doing things? Stoped taking the freaking responsibility for everything. All the things that just happens to fall in your lap because no-one else is doing it. I’m talking about buying birthday gifts for EVERYONE, securing that the kids have clothes…

Contemplation & evaluation

The Mr and I try to catch up every now and then. In a more luxurious way than just over the dinner table or during a dog walk. Not that the luxury is necessary, but it doesn’t hurt. As we haven’t done/travelled anywhere in 2020 due to covid, we decided to treat ourselves with an…

When in Rome

After almost 15 years we did it. A only grown-up vacation. 4 days and 4 nights we were away from the children. Together with dear friends we went to Rome to celebrate love. As couples we’ve been together for 25 years. Our friends have been married for 15 and the Mr and I celebrated our…

The note

Found this, and lots of other memorabilia, in a bag my parents had saved. The note with number and address the Mr gave me when we first met 25 years ago. Blessed to have found him and to continue loving him. I don’t know if it was a blessing or not that I didn’t realize…

Lessons learnt

Almost a week has past with not only without my husband but also my children! What have I learnt? I do enjoy my husband’s company, he is quite a lot of fun Without my children I have oceans of time (I new that already, but still) Without children I don’t need to eat different dishes…

Flawless or not

To be a teenage parent is hard. Harder than I ever expected. I would be a huge fan of any software you could run in their brains so they are ready by default. My current task is to support in the things, the things I thought I made clear long before (and so many times…

It’s not…

Five weeks of vacation is by the end of the day officially over, tomorrow it’s just a regular weekend. The Mr took two extra shifts (today and tomorrow), so from a family perspective vacation was over already at 5.30 am this morning. It’s not that I don’t like working, I kind of do and I’m…

Vacay – no 2

After returning from Österlen, but before celebrating F’s 11 birthday, I stoped by at home, re packed and went off to a short overnight trip with “the women”. A constellation of women where I feel very welcomed but also a little as the least sharpest tool in the shed. I know that this feeling is…

To not cave in

For me, it’s hard. To let go. To no be too intrusive. Sam is away with his class over night. Even if I want to know everything (like he would tell me, and that he would tell me while he’s away…), I resist the urge to continue the Snapchat conversation with his reply that everything…

Supernova

It’s a challenge, this life thing. Especially if you, as myself, demand progress. Particularly of myself. I love myself, but not so much that I don’t think there’s room for improvement. These areas of improvement are getting very clear as the kids develop. Great catalysts they are. The children. Love ’em for it even if I for sure…

Thank you

I want to personally thank the scriptwriters/actors to Catastrophe; Rob Delaney and Sharon Horgan. Catastrophe is the absolutely the best comedy series in the world at the moment. You know I’m a bad ass Modern Family fan too, but Catastrophe is European (i.e. allowed to be straight-up and dirty and getting away with it). 100% recognition at times. This…

Love

Some days I do think that: 1) I’d be better off without him (reasons can vary from forgetting to put away all the dirty dishes, plain stupidity to spending too much time at one or another soccer pitch) or 2) Life is really unfair that it didn’t let me bump in to Olof Mellberg back…

Within 15 min

Your life can get a necessary energy boost, just by hooking up with the right people. A phone-call, a coffee and two conversations later, you have gotten both energy, new ideas and perspective. Not too bad on a Friday morning.  

Happy

I look at this picture and get so happy. My great little family. Thankful.

Shit in – shit out

I get ridiculously fulfilled by conversations. Conversations between smart individuals (myself included). The type of conversations that do not seem to have no end. Where you go from topic to topic to share and learn. Conversations with people who can argue and question you with full respect of you and your viewpoints. And where your viewpoints are…

It is simple 

It is pretty simple. You like each other and you become friends. But friendship can change. There is no guarantee that one like one another after 25 years. Bring two husbands and four children into the pictures and there is a lot that doesn’t necessarily add up. Or it just does. Or maybe it is…

Father’s day

Today it is father’s day in Sweden.  My father has always worked a lot, but had his base for his business from home, so I don’t think there were many days I did’t see him. I can still remember sitting lap singing our own little chant about me. Getting a good life for him and…

A trip to Denmark

Out of the blue the Mr said: “Ah, the heck with it, let’s go to Copenhagen!”. So we did. An overnight stay with animals, art, design and shopping. With the best boys around.                                             

Three years ago

Today we had breakfast at Appelbee’s (Fabian consuming a mountain of pancakes) and afterwards turning to the Top of the Rock, tying the knot and becoming Mr & Mrs Dock. I remember the day as it was yesterday, partly because photographer Pontus Höök documented it all. We’ve been together since 1993. Loving, laughing and at…

A blue day

Today, due to technical issues, I couldn’t work. It became a blue day, in the best way. I went with my boys to Hallandsväderö, a small island and nature reserve. We walked the trails, found piece of the island where only we were and all we did was just being there,  together.  It was a…

What to do

Somtimes I just want to hug my children and tell them that everything is going to be all right. So that is exactly what I do. #theonlywayicanbeaparent

An ordinary life

I belong to what people would call “the commoners”. I am not famous (not notorious either for that matter). I don’t have famous friends. I don’t have loads of money that can take me all the places I want to go (this I would like to have, not so much the money as being able to…

A tornado in a trailer park

I know I am not all good. For sure I am quite demanding. I do not see well on mistakes, at least not the second time they appear. But I would also give myself cred. I see myself as a quite fun wife. Who after 22 (June 2015) years can both surprise her Mr into silence…

And three hours later…

…the Mr and I have a perfectly tidy bedroom. This was our boys way of calling truce after our breakfast battle. I was of course super happy and I didn’t use the word “but”. We sat down in the made bed (made bed in our bedroom never happens, unless a real-estate agent is about to visit)…

All my boys

I am one of them who strongly misbelieve the ones who, in their social media status, constantly tell how fantastic their partners and/or children are. We all know they might be and most likely are asses (or something similar) more often than they are perfect. Never the less I realize i am one of them….

Proud

If you generalize, Swede’s are very poor at being proud over them selves. We are usually not the ones who will climb up a mountain and scream out our joy for being ourselves, just because we are soooo good. Or, maybe that is exactly where we would do it, as nobody would hear us on the…

Stood up

It was a long time ago (if you don’t count what just happened two minutes ago) I was stood up by a man. I wonder if it ever has happened. Fabian joined me in my (it is only mine tonight when the Mr is working the nightshift, otherwise it is our) bedroom. He came in…

A little wish

While I was dying of my minor ebola case last Friday night. I heard both the Mr and our oldest feeling for me. I woke up every 30 minutes to rejoin the bathroom. And all Saturday I tried to catch up the lost sleep of the night before and getting my body back to status…

Yoga

Said it before, will say it again. Yoga is da shit. I guess the Mr says the same about Destiny. Haven’t seen him all night… 

Post vacation / pre-work analysis

Hmm… four weeks. After four weeks of absolute nothing and everything, it is time to get up and get dressed before 10 o’clock in the morning. It is clear that I love to be around my children and husband doing “nothing”. That nothing meaning to do whatever we feel like (and this summer we also…

Cuddles

Just had the best time of the day. When the kids go to bed and you take those minutes for cuddles and laughter. Our oldest one, is the one with most similarities in looks with me. People who have gotten to know me through Sam, always tell me how much alike we look. Poor boy….

Gone fishing

The Mr decided today’s activity. Fishing. I did what I love almost the most, take pictures without the need to deliver. But please do not be fooled by the idyllic scenes, we had a lovely time together on our excursion, but before and after we were haunted by the offsprings of satan. Really, think twice about…

Noooooooooo

Not a good sign. We are getting sloppy. Not regarding the cleaning, we have been sloppy about that for years. Our anniversary! How could we miss it?! More staggeringly, how could I miss it?! Last Wednesday, 21 years and not a card, no anniversary wishes. Probaby a kiss or two and a squeeze on the…

Following your heart

It is cool when you can witness someone else’s happiness in real time. Like yesterday when Sam was on his Taekwondo green belt grading. He didn’t pass, his selfdefense needed some more practice. But if you could see the pure joy in his eyes when they were to sparr with a “red-belt guy”. Gee, he really…

Good day

Today I am grateful for our children. They are really good at taking responsibility for themselves when they need to. Today I also got a compliment for my outfit (which NEVER happens for several reasons) from our oldest. The younger one was giving us a private concert when he listen to “Love me, love me”…

Friends

What makes a person a friend? The last days I have reflected over my friends. Why are a handful of people extremely valuable for me? It is so simpel, they are people like me who a pretty fine with who they are. They are people with dreams. Dreams and aspirations, but who choose not only lock…

Contempt

It must be some kind of loathe, I can not interpret it as anything else. It almost happens at the exact same time each year, when my husband shows such a unhidden contempt towards me and our children. He must truly despise us. Or why would he otherwise do it? And continue to do it. Year, after year,…

At the top while at the bottom

Even if the header is slight exaggeration of my current status I can not find a better way to describe the man-cold that currently has taken hostage over my body. But even if I am close to death, I joined the rest of the family for a walk in the forrest today. And it was…

Bullshit

I am not that stupid kind of gal. So pleeeeeeease if you can’t tell me the straight up truth, do not communicate with me at all. I really get a rash from BS AND I loose trust in You. Just so we are clear.

To change or not

“It is not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive but those who can best manage change.”  ― Charles Darwin I read his quote on a restroom wall in Lisbon, Portugal once and since then it really stuck to me. In my strive for personal happiness I live by it (even if I, at times, am…

All over the place

A Swedish royal once said: “My feelings are all over place.” That’s is exactly what I feel right now. Exactly.