I once read this celebration text, written by a man who loves his wife dearly. I know him as one of these really good men (you know, this group that all men think they belong to, but very few does). He is also one of these men who are litterateurs, who knows how to handle the written word and have the ability to both convey and entertain with their message.

There is no doubt that his love for his wife is genuine and the text was to celebrate her.

But, as I women, I got both upset and discouraged. The last line was about his wife ability to handle everything that needs be handle in a family, especially with small children. The things that must work out otherwise life will crash and burn. I was asking myself, would I as a wife, be comfortable to have a husband who acknowledge the chaos around us, but who (consciously or not) delegates the handling to me?

Wouldn’t I rather have my man joining me in the sorting? Taking a joint responsibility? Maybe he does, and still sees or experiences it being her taking the majority of the responsibility for it, I don’t know. I wonder so, what he’s up do, while she prevents the family to crash and burn? Watch TV, having me-time, working? What ever could be more important than helping out with the chaos in my own family? That sentence doesn’t belong in an accolade.

It left me with a bitter aftertaste in this genuine celebration. Personally, I don’t want to have a pat on my back for doing the shit work, I want to have a companion in the trenches.