New beginnings

This morning was epic. For our family. Or for my husband. After 22.5 years as an emergency response operator (20.5 at his current company) the Mr worked his last shift. A nightshift. During the kids whole life, they have been told to “keep it down” because dad’s sleeping. Had a mother who didn’t do much…

What happened

Today Sam came home with his graduation cap. I can’t comprehend this. Our oldest is done with school. He’s officially a real adult and we don’t need to care for him. Naturally I teared up. I’m so not ready for this and I force myself to remind myself what his daycare teacher Helene told me,…

The best

Sam bought the family the best Christmas gift ever – a chess game. Chess?! The closest I’ve come to understanding chess is watching all episodes of The Queens Gambit. Chess has always frighten me. The pieces are many, have funny names and can go in different directions – all in different ones. It’s all just…

Shared happiness

I won’t go as far as claiming that only shared happiness is real. But when you see someone else happy,  it is a gooood feeling. To see the Mr in his right element, teaching soccer, I really get happy.

Vacay – no 2

After returning from Österlen, but before celebrating F’s 11 birthday, I stoped by at home, re packed and went off to a short overnight trip with “the women”. A constellation of women where I feel very welcomed but also a little as the least sharpest tool in the shed. I know that this feeling is…

Perks of parenthood

Although one might not think it reading my latest posts, there are perks of being a parent too. One of the greatest gifts is to take part of and enjoy the interests and development of your kids. Yesterday it was the annual futsal cup in our area. I think Fabian has played it every year…

Supernova

It’s a challenge, this life thing. Especially if you, as myself, demand progress. Particularly of myself. I love myself, but not so much that I don’t think there’s room for improvement. These areas of improvement are getting very clear as the kids develop. Great catalysts they are. The children. Love ’em for it even if I for sure…

Never settle

This clip comes up over and over again in my Facebook feed. I had a look and I was surprised that I knew so many of the lyrics (especially since I’m tonedeaf). What surprised me even more was how many memories I have to the songs and what feelings and places were connected to them. Parts…

Progress

Since September I’m back with my FABULOUS PT Jessica. I missed both her and what the result of her rehab (shoulder that’s been bothering me for years) and training did to me, my body and my mind. When I started this spring I got totally silent after say 15 minutes into the session. After that…

Damn it

The truths of all truths. The freaking power of now. My friend (she who taught me to eat eggs and omelett) said that I must read Eckhart Tolle‘s book “The power of now“. A book she found provoking but still could understand if not practically so at theoretically level and could understand its thesis. I haven’t…

Kickus maximus in gluteus maximus

That is what I received today. A big ass ass kick. To get going, to dare to break barriers and old habits. It is so hard and I do question if I need to, while I in parallell know that if I don’t, I just use fears and laziness to become scapegoats to what I really want from…

Trying to convince myself

I know that the best thing I can do is to just go with it, there is not much/anything I can do. And that is killing me right now. To know what I want, to have it at an arms length, but still way out of reach and foremost out of my control. Trying to…

Coming home

I went to a CSR meeting yesterday. CSR – Corporate Social Responsibility. It was like I found a word for what I, as a communicator always have been about. Transparency and balance. But what hasn’t been the focus of the corporate forces. For me it was like coming home.

Being a woman

Today March 8, International women’s day I want to clarify some things. Women are great. Period. Men are also great. Full stop. Do I think that men are superior women? – No. And neither do I think that women are superior men. There are differences between the sexes, that’s awesome. The sad part is that…

Thoughts

For many people it is action that is the missing factor. They know exactly what they should do, “if only”. One could describe them in a negative manner like people not having the balls to get their shit together and do something about their lives. I would probably describe them as “scared”. It is hard to…

Stood up

It was a long time ago (if you don’t count what just happened two minutes ago) I was stood up by a man. I wonder if it ever has happened. Fabian joined me in my (it is only mine tonight when the Mr is working the nightshift, otherwise it is our) bedroom. He came in…

The power of development

Change is often foreseen as scary. The usual assessment is: change brought by others are is more scary then the one you inflict by your self. But I wonder. How many times have we not ducked when a chance of change have knocked on the door and we have let it pass with a number of “well-thought” arguments. When you…

To change or not

“It is not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive but those who can best manage change.”  ― Charles Darwin I read his quote on a restroom wall in Lisbon, Portugal once and since then it really stuck to me. In my strive for personal happiness I live by it (even if I, at times, am…

What do they say?

My coach once said “when u feel something, be curious on your emotions and investigate what they really want to tell you”. I am feeling A LOT right now, the question is what do they tell me? I think they say: “Why dont you all just fuck off?!”

My life is not Pommac

As mentioned in an earlier post, I am stuck in my development. But step by step, and with the never ending patience of (a) friend(s) I am making progress. Small progress. I want more. More of life. My life is not a bloody Pommac, it is freaking champagne!

OMG!

On our way to the store this afternoon F, the little one, starting to sound words on his brother’s Donald Duck magazine. WHAT?! WHEN?! HOW?! and WHY?! My babies, my small babies are getting big and so soon!