Next step

I’m at a point in my life, where I feel its necessary for me to explore. Explore my current situation and my future. When I hear the word searcher, the image that pops up in my mind is someone irresolute (usually a young female), who that ends up in a Hare Krishna community with a shaved head, chanting in the streets and possibly expanding her mind with experimental drugs.

Photo credit: Stephen Arnold -Unsplash

I fully understand that my interpretation is both inadequate and narrow-minded of both the general searcher and any community where a person would feel at home. But this is probably why I don’t define myself as a searcher. Even-though that is exactly what I am. We might not search along the same paths, but I am a person who never will stop expand and explore who I am. And instead of flip old homes or try out new hobbies, I renovate and try out new paths in my mind. And who knows, maybe in a couple of months (or in ten years) I will end up at a silent Kabbalah retreat in Guatemala.

I do this ever so often. Break out and explore to find a new meaning. Last time was when I resigned from my permanent employment (or just before). For the last years I have felt very content with where I am and at the same time I was questioning my satisfaction. Not that it felt wrong, on the contrary, but was I not supposed to want to be on my quest to something bigger and better?

Now I understand that that plateau of contentment is necessary to be able to evolve. Otherwise I would most probably end up at Hare Krishna (and that would be terrible, the shaved head I would carry with style, but orange is just not my colour).

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