I woke up at 2 a.m thinking of a “problem” connected to my assignment. And as we all know, it’s stupid, stupid, stupid of people to start thinking of any problem (professional or personal) at this hour. It’s stupid out of two reasons:
1. You’re not getting paid for it (especially not if it’s a personal one). As a matter of fact you are paying for it. With your valuable sleep. Which is SO important for your brain to function OK during the day
2. You will not solve it. It’s like that at 2,3 or 4 your brain (and here is probably tones of science to back this shit up) just don’t see logical on the problems.
As I truly woke up I found, not the answer to my problem (as that will only be solved once I speak to other persons, which I will do tomorrow, they are sleeping now), but my reasoning behind my standpoint to the problem. Thereafter I started to think about other things happening later I the week, which to some degree annoyed me. And, I got to think about things that annoyed me during the day. AND, if that wasn’t enough stuff that annoyed me the latest month or so.
What I found was the common denominator of all these things that annoys me is – people. If I would be a simpler human I probably would call them – “stupid people”. Cause they are, if you ask me. Not low in intelligence stupid. But low in self understanding.
They all (and yes they are so many…) have their own reasons for why they lack the self understanding. Some of the reasons I can respect as there are outer influence that hinders them. Others I do find it harder to do so, respect their shortcomings in understanding themselves. Yes, I understand it has to do with their capabilities or lack of thereof. But why on earth do they all congregate around me?
I guess that what is really bothering me is that need (yes, I do, as it has to do with their capabilities) to be very understanding when interacting with these people. I must not take that artistic pause and explain (with my firmest voice) to them how they must get their act together, pull their head out of their own scrotum, watch themself in a bigger context, be critical to both their own and other’s actions (and thoughts), take responsibility for their own situation and not the least put some boundaries towards others – otherwise the conversation we are having will continue forever and ever until I choose to end our relationship.
And it’s maybe that is my only option, to end certain relationships as they demand so much if me while I experience get very little out of it myself.
This was a very nasty post. Putting myself on an Shire horse looking down at all the commoners. But thats’s what you get at 3 am in the morning. If I can’t expect more out of so many of you during normal wakening hours- do not expect more out of me in the middle of the night.