I reacted again. Not with shock. Not even with anger. Just that familiar mix of irritation and fatigue. My first thought was: Again?! Really?! Not because this was the worst thing ever said. But because I’ve seen this pattern so many times it might as well come with a template. I’ve written before about freedom…
Author: louisedock
I am a Swedish woman who besides handling my own business, am trying to keep the love of my life and to be a decent mother, all in a small town on the Swedish west-coast. Always with the aim to be happy. In everything I do.
And just like that
He was back. And gone again. He was picked up, driven home and fed. Left for someone better. Returned home for a football game and left. Woke me up at 4:40 am as he had fotgotten somethings (almost 5 months with no support…) . Now they are in Rome. They are happy. So, so am…
Different worlds
Sometimes when I look at LinkedIn, the only social media I have left, I get amazed and almost confused about where I exist and how I choose to do things. I seldom use the kind of language that seems to live there. The steady stream of excitement, the superlatives, the “thrilled to announce” moods. My…
Eudaimonia
It was Friday night when it happened. Samuel had taken on the cooking, and I sat by the kitchen island watching him. A text message informed him that the week-long bidding process for the flat had finally come to an end – the flat was his. We were thrilled for him, perhaps even a bit…
How We Will Survive
They day before we were leaving Quincy, it was the Mr’s birthday and we decided to celebrate the only way we know how: by hitting the town and seeing what Quincy had to offer. By pure accident, we stumbled upon The Drunk Brush – a wonderful little Italian bar run by Ricco from Naples (the…
California Dreaming
When I was 16 and going off for my high-school exchange year, I really wanted to go to California. To Los Angeles. I was totally smitten with Hollywood and I pictured myself as a future lawyer (clearly, too much L.A. Law had been consumed) living in Beverly Hills, with my very own pool boy. I…
A different kind of birthday
It’s no secret that I L❤️VE birthdays – especially my own. I always celebrate them, not necessarily in grand style, but always with the people I love the most – my boys 😍. This year, though, things are a little different. Junior isn’t home (I miss him a bit today…), Mr is off on a…
Not every morning
But sometimes, quite often, I step out into our garden and pick a few flowers. I arrange them like my inner child florist (dream occupation at six) would have done. It’s a quiet moment. It’s time for contemplation.I think about my family, my dad, and my friends. The moment helps me start the day in…
Pure joy and the opposite
For once, Fabian’s game stated before bedtime! I praise the people behind the technology of internet, wi-fi and Ai, which made it possible for us to watch Fabbe Fab score, not one but two (!), goals. I love the pure joy a team shows after scoring. People united of their love for the sport instead…
Why Complaining Wastes Our Privilege
It’s 7:15 AM, and I’m already over it. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep, or perhaps it’s just my perimenopause brain firing on all cylinders, (due to the lack of sleep. I who slept like a baby with my HRT, or if it should be called PTE , but that is a separate post), but…
Do you know what I did?
No, no hobby worth mention has arrived at my doorstep. Meanwhile I spend my time… clearing and organising. It’s pathetic i know. To my defense I do enjoy it. I always have (believe it or not). Today I have organised our linen cabinet, planned our coming trip and before the day is over, I will…
I don’t know how to have fun
I feel like a five year old, saying “I have nothing to do!” I really don’t know what to do with the time I have . Without Fabian’s football I have no hobbies what so ever. And I’m afraid to sign up for something (like I’d know what it should be…) as it then would…
The time has come
Yesterday it was time. And never has Kahlil Gibran’s On Children, been more suitable. I don’t think I ever have hugged him as hard as I did at the airport yesterday. I don’t even remember telling him that I love him. On the other hand I have done so 7000 times before. But I told…
Review – England by train
Before we start, I’m aware the heading is somewhat exaggerated, we weren’t even close to half of England, but bare with me. Our journey started, as mentioned in previous post, in Manchester. Something we realized was somewhat unnecessary when the itinerary was final. But as said, Manchester is grand and a trip there is not…
Still here
More travel updates will come.
UK trip day 1 and 2
The Mr and I never went inter-railing in our youth. So when the Mr came with the idea to do it this summer I immediately got excited. But Europe is big. We never could decide where to go. Then the Mr came with brilliant idea to fly to Manchester and take the train home from…
Can someone please explain
Why is it so hard to let go? To just let them sort out things by them selves, whatever it might lead to. Apparently I’m normal, at least to chatGPT. Letting go is extremely hard. But I gotta! I now really need just to sit back and relax. Not think. Not feel. Not see the…
And just like that
it’s over. Or really, for him, it’s a start of something new, something different, exiting and sometimes troublesome. But, its not the end. It’s the beginning. To watch your children graduate is special. Yesterday it was our youngest’s turn. Graduation is wired, as you remember your own. Regarding the weather- the gods were on our…
Prom
Time again. Last time was three years ago. Same venue different kid, different lady. Not much to talk about. I was worried about the weather. It turned out to be a great evening.
A Mother’s Day
Today it’s been mother’s day in Sweden. I’ m not for making things commercial, but w’m all for celebrations, especially when it’s me being celebrated. The day started with a text from my youngest. Telling me that words couldn’t explain how much he loves me and appreciates me. After thanking him, I continued to say…
Did I mention?
Since… end February… in close connection to this post. I deleted my Instagram (after downloading all my content of course, well apparently not all all). I still have LinkedIn, but I keep it professional, or better put, for professional content. I did join Bluesky and Masterdon (but this I could scrap, as it feel like…
What am I doing?
I don’t know if it’s age (hormones) or what. But I still feel low. I don’t have energy to do… anything. My coaching period the other year showed me that I have so many ideas of things to do. But now, I just can’t be bothered. I read my coach’s Instagram and I see (again,…
What the fudge is happening?
I’m both thinking about my own life, as well at the world as such. It’s just a freaking madhouse all together. What can I do about it, except not freaking out and starting to be just as bad myself. So many thoughts going on in my head I don’t know what to think. Who am…
Italy 2025 🇮🇹
The Mr and I, with two friends, went to Italy. To Puglia/Apulia for a long week-end. The weather was not really what we expected and that made it harder (to not say impossible) to sit outside. But memories were made. I conclude them as:
Confliction
My head and my heart is, currently, filled with conflicting thoughts and feelings. At the same time as I see the strangest and maybe the most evil things happening in our world, I cannot allow the dark thoughts and feelings prevail. It’s not possible, when I meet the world in the form of nature on…
Am I a dog?
No, this is not another post about our little darling beast. She’s doing great and Tesla even better. It’s about me. I don’t know if what I’m feeling is connected to being a ”performance princess” or just liking to work. A “performance princess” is a term often used to describe a person, usually a woman,…
Dog = happiness
We must be more happy. We dog people. Juni sleeps in our bed (of course). And how lovely the sunggels are. I feel in my entire body how good it is for me. It’s soothing. Her warmth, her soft fur, her breaths. Studies do show that dog owners are happier and are less often depressed….
Some more
Today I have maternity day. It’s all about Juni and Tesla. They are doing great. Tesla can be a little tough at times, but they will have so much fun these gals.
It’s June
Well, it’s March, but we have June (Juni as her Swedish name is, meaning June). We picked her up today ❤️. All since we said goodbye to Buddy in August last year, we’ve been thinking about it. Getting a second dog. I will not lie, the last time with Buddy required us to walk them…
Life
In the bigger perspective life is daunting right now. But here. In my backyard with spring weather, it’s grand. Absolute grand.
Time to say goodbye and hello?
I already have said good bye to Facebook, a couple of days ago I deleted my SnaptChat (which I only had to communicate with the kids, and some people ) and TikTok I never been on. Twitter was discarded years ago, before luny tune purchased it. Maybe it’s time to scrap Instagram to. The only…
A+
Drove Fabian to a pick-up point for today’s game. While sitting next to him in the car, like hundreds of times before, listening to his favourite music of the minute, singing and seat-dancing, it just hit me. What a great mother I’ve been! Awesome! And how fun I have had (when I asked, he also…
New Year’s Resolutions
New Year’s resolutions are really not for me. It’s not the resolution I’m against, it’s more the the determination of its timing. Changes and resolutions can be given any time of the year. But a year and its end encourage some of us to reflection and with that the opportunity to do things differently, better….
A Moment of Gratitude
While sitting by myself in the candle light by our dining table, playing tranquil Swedish Christmas songs, the dog sleeps peacefully on the sofa and the boys in their beds (the Mr is off to work). I reflect over how I feel in this very moment. Except for missing my dad (who loved Christmas) I…
An End of an Era
Motherhood, what a journey it is. Our trip to NYC made it so clear to me, that my boys are adults and “we” are now something new, something different, something I haven’t fully understood. I have always striven to get independent children. That’s why I have made sure that they can handle the basics of…
The Value of Creativity
In our current economic system, efficiency is everything. Things should happen fast and with an OK result. But the result is always subordinate the time and cost it takes to create the result. Why isn’t the creative process valued? I’m thinking what the process does with the creator. The feelings, thoughts the possible added outcomes…
Impressed
I’m so impressed by people who can be engaged in boring and, let’s face it, none important, things. Kudos to you, I simply can’t do it anymore.
Eating out in NYC
Find my best eating spots in NYC
So tired
I’m so tired of people. Full stop. Maybe it’s because I’m getting old/wise. I just don’t have the energy to listen to people complain. If it doesn’t work for you, you need to either except it or fix it. Spend your energy to solve it not dwell on it. Yes, it might be uncomfortable, but…
OMG I’m 50!
I had this really long post planned. But, I scrapped it. I just summarize that I’m happy. I miss my dad, but I’m happy. I have my family and my friends. I have my health (well, if it wasn’t for that knee/calf thing) roof over my head, money for food and splashes of humble luxuries….
Being clear
Clarity is important to me. In anything and everything. In fact it’s so important I find joy in creating it. I believe many will claim that it’s related to control, that I need control. Personally I’m not convinced. For me, it’s more about respect and integrity. Example, if you want me to do something for…
Slow mornings
I might have mentioned this before, but one of my key findings (as they say) after coaching was that I don’t want stressful mornings. I don’t, on a daily basis, want to be forced to be at a certain place at a certain time. That’s what’s important to me. And I’m grateful to not need…
The evanescence of axiom
Is it only me that feels like axiom is disappearing? Nothing is no longer true, one can justify anything with one’s personal belief. Is this a contributor to the VUCA-world and what will it mean for mankind and democracy? Especially when people in power more commonly use it to distort anything? What kind of disorder…
Blessed
I was listening to a “gossip” podcast on my morning walk with the dog this morning (note: I also listen to other podcast, like “intellectual ones” currently many about the US election). Anyhow, both the topic discussed and the way the host talked about things got me thinking. How utterly blessed I am. And I’m…
Stop it, just stop it now
No I’m not talking about the scolding happening at the other side of the pond. I’m talking about life. Tuesday our little one (who turned 18 little over a month ago and thereby is an adult in the eyes of society) got his driver’s license. In Sweden you don’t get to have a driver’s license…
The Best
Friends from kindergarten, middle, junior high and high school came together this weekend to celebrate our common friend turning 50! Me and friends turning 50 is great, even if I have a hard time comprehending this fact, we are so young. Over the years I’ve told about my best friend in the blog and I’…
More grief
2024 is not turning out to be my best year. Dad this winter, Buddy yesterday. He has been on our radar for some time. After all he was over 13 years. Over the last year we’ve seen an old man a slowly aging and with a disintegrating body. An arthritis which was subdued with medication,…
Singing heart
When good things comes to those I love and subjectivity think deserves it, I feel my heart sing and butterflies tumbling around in my tummy. I grasp a moment to be thankful.
And thank you Svennis
Yes, it is presumptuous of me to have an opinion of something I haven’t watched yet, and to base my view point on one film isn’t especially thought through or cirtical either, but now this is not a scientific paper, it’s a worldly blog post from a very ordinary (I say that with pride) person….
Louise Dock 